Letter to my Non-Existant Daughter: Love in a Time of Lust

Just to be clear: unlike the others, THIS pic is NOT me. Ha!

Random, but stuck in traffic en-route to SD and someone asked me today how I "resist the urge" to post revealing "selfies" all over my Facebook, since it's so commonplace that guys are hardly even phased anymore by pics like that. I'm sure no one will read all this, but I intend to make my potential future daughter read it-- and up my street-cred for having written it at my current age and while SINGLE. The start to my answer would be as follows:

1: I hope to have kids someday. Times are changing and chances are my kids will be my Facebook friends and probably at a younger age than I'd currently anticipate. If I have a daughter I want her to be able to appreciate that while imperfect, her mom isn't a hypocrite and can feel plenty-sexy without countless bathroom mirror pics reeking of desperation and seeking validation; that sexy doesn't have to mean slutty or super suggestive for ALL eyes (and specifically, on the web.) Save that side for the guy who's got a hold on you-give HIM something that others don't nonchalantly get. Stoke HIS ego a little, after all - wouldn't/shouldn't his opinion in that department be the only one (besides your own) that matters anyway? Quality, not Quantity. Past that, when it comes to public pics some element of mystery to be left to the imagination and/or reserved for THE (singular) guy lucky/special enough to get that side of you...that's sexy. It's sexy because it's something only he gets and it shows you know your worth and impact. Who cares about "likes" from 20 other dudes. If you really need "likes" to keep confident, and the only way your male Facebook friends "like" your pics is when they're obviously sexual or cheap-looking or whatever--maybe it's time for friends of higher quality or greater depth? Guys who think you're sexy and gorgeous in your real-world everyday life, doing what makes you come alive? Just a thought. I don't want my daughter lowering the bar, I want her raising it.

2. Simplicity is sexy, and a happy, healthy (fit and mentally healthy) girl IS a sexy girl. Sexy in a lasting, captivating way. Not a wham, bam, thank you, ma'am...way. A (male) friend of mine posted something on this the other day. Essentially: girls you f*ck versus girls you marry. Blunt, but true and fair. There's a difference and it usually comes down to uniqueness and discretion when under the public eye--both of which come down to confidence. Rappers say it well: freak between the sheets, lady in the streets. ;) (Ha. I joke, I joke. But y'all get the idea and probably aren't even reading anymore anyway.)

3. I feel sexiest when being most true to myself. I know I'm picky about men and that I'd gladly let the guy I'm with have access to that stuff--that to me feels authentic. Not putting it out there in an empty way and for the whole world. To me, it just ends up being clutter and blending in. It also eliminates the mystique and intrigue. Why would I try to be the same as everyone else, if I expect a guy to find me exceptional?

4. If a pic should surface from time to time...and ones of the more sexual nature...I want her see me being head over heels and acting like that for and with her dad. Not just anyone. Because really, I won't marry someone who isn't my everything and with whom I won't want to get it on for a lifetime. Rather her see that, and sexy or tipsy moments in those contexts...than a lack of self-respect or low standards.

Cheers. Now, unborn daughter, go be yo' naturally sexy self.